Having read, or listened to, almost everything you’ve published / podcasted since your interview w/ Shane Parrish in 2021 this post stands out. Instead of my usual response of, ““how do I apply what I’ve learned” I got mind reeling curious.
I asked, “What does it require to actually BE a pattern breaker; to undo years of training and be bold?”
For the archetypical “bad boy” founder whose mathematical wizardry complimented his classroom antics, his bold confidence as a founder is built on years of being rewarded, (or not punished too much!), for behavior that was just outside the norm. I begrudge him nothing and am a bit envious of his unfettered freedom to fly.
But what about the rest of us, what does it take for us to make bold moves for our companies even when it goes against years of socialization to do otherwise?
My hypothesis is that it is “Courage” or, more specifically, “Courage born of Conviction”
Socialization can have an outsize impact on how someone operates in the world and for me, a vintage female founder, it triggered a decision to squelch my childhood reputation as “a brain”, “bossy” and “independent” to just “fit in” for all the reasons you might imagine. (In hindsight - not the smartest move!)
Although I’d wanted to build my own company since I was sixteen I went the conventional, expected, corporate route. I became the quintessential intrapreneur and glowed with pride when the President of a company I worked for said, “What makes you so great is your ability to lead people who don’t report to you and you’re not afraid to get fired”. I realized later I may have been in corporate but I didn’t really fit in!
I’ve now launched my company, (funded mostly by my corporate “winnings”), and even before I read your post, I knew its success depended on my ability to break free of the chains of other’s expectations.
With respect to my hypothesis, and as a sample size of one, I can attest that the ONLY thing that gives me the strength to continuously push into the unknown and be comfortable being uncomfortable is my passion for the problem we’re solving. It is the Courage of my Conviction that lets me break the patterns and do what is both unexpected and right. It is also, as I’m finding, an exhilarating, if tumultuous, journey.
Writing this response also took me out of my comfort zone so you can be assured your insights today resonated; thank you.
NOTE: For my own purposes I have had to replace the word “disagreeable” with the phrase “unafraid of other’s opinions”. If others think that makes me disagreeable, that is their opinion but it is not who I am.
Hi Laura - Thanks for taking the time to engage in depth on this. The topic continues to fascinate me and there's so much to learn, both in general and for each of us in our own lives and the choices we make.
If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend the book "The Courage to Be Disliked." It was really well done and has a lot of very actionable ideas. Let me know if you run across any other good ones on your travels.
Thanks for your book recommendation; it's on my list & I do have others to share. Thank you too for your patience on this reply - I wanted to gain greater insight into your thinking and how you define "disagreeable" before I responded so I listened to Lenny's podcast (loved!) and have been reading your book, (also love!).
Truth be told - we're 100% aligned that a founder must have courage and the strength of character to stand firm when the world doesn't see the future she sees. (I also posit that for those of us who don't "look" for ideas because we have an intuition about where things are going and just follow them...the courage is born of conviction)
Where we diverge is on the taxonomy. To be disagreed with as a founder is normal; what someone thinks of a founder when they stand up for the future they see is their problem. Someone may say the founder is disagreeable - others, (like me) say the founder has the courage to march alone.
Semantics aside - the sentiment is the same and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's zoom!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread AND to and write your book.
Courage.
Having read, or listened to, almost everything you’ve published / podcasted since your interview w/ Shane Parrish in 2021 this post stands out. Instead of my usual response of, ““how do I apply what I’ve learned” I got mind reeling curious.
I asked, “What does it require to actually BE a pattern breaker; to undo years of training and be bold?”
For the archetypical “bad boy” founder whose mathematical wizardry complimented his classroom antics, his bold confidence as a founder is built on years of being rewarded, (or not punished too much!), for behavior that was just outside the norm. I begrudge him nothing and am a bit envious of his unfettered freedom to fly.
But what about the rest of us, what does it take for us to make bold moves for our companies even when it goes against years of socialization to do otherwise?
My hypothesis is that it is “Courage” or, more specifically, “Courage born of Conviction”
Socialization can have an outsize impact on how someone operates in the world and for me, a vintage female founder, it triggered a decision to squelch my childhood reputation as “a brain”, “bossy” and “independent” to just “fit in” for all the reasons you might imagine. (In hindsight - not the smartest move!)
Although I’d wanted to build my own company since I was sixteen I went the conventional, expected, corporate route. I became the quintessential intrapreneur and glowed with pride when the President of a company I worked for said, “What makes you so great is your ability to lead people who don’t report to you and you’re not afraid to get fired”. I realized later I may have been in corporate but I didn’t really fit in!
I’ve now launched my company, (funded mostly by my corporate “winnings”), and even before I read your post, I knew its success depended on my ability to break free of the chains of other’s expectations.
With respect to my hypothesis, and as a sample size of one, I can attest that the ONLY thing that gives me the strength to continuously push into the unknown and be comfortable being uncomfortable is my passion for the problem we’re solving. It is the Courage of my Conviction that lets me break the patterns and do what is both unexpected and right. It is also, as I’m finding, an exhilarating, if tumultuous, journey.
Writing this response also took me out of my comfort zone so you can be assured your insights today resonated; thank you.
NOTE: For my own purposes I have had to replace the word “disagreeable” with the phrase “unafraid of other’s opinions”. If others think that makes me disagreeable, that is their opinion but it is not who I am.
Hi Laura - Thanks for taking the time to engage in depth on this. The topic continues to fascinate me and there's so much to learn, both in general and for each of us in our own lives and the choices we make.
If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend the book "The Courage to Be Disliked." It was really well done and has a lot of very actionable ideas. Let me know if you run across any other good ones on your travels.
Hi Mike,
Thanks for your book recommendation; it's on my list & I do have others to share. Thank you too for your patience on this reply - I wanted to gain greater insight into your thinking and how you define "disagreeable" before I responded so I listened to Lenny's podcast (loved!) and have been reading your book, (also love!).
Truth be told - we're 100% aligned that a founder must have courage and the strength of character to stand firm when the world doesn't see the future she sees. (I also posit that for those of us who don't "look" for ideas because we have an intuition about where things are going and just follow them...the courage is born of conviction)
Where we diverge is on the taxonomy. To be disagreed with as a founder is normal; what someone thinks of a founder when they stand up for the future they see is their problem. Someone may say the founder is disagreeable - others, (like me) say the founder has the courage to march alone.
Semantics aside - the sentiment is the same and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's zoom!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread AND to and write your book.